Welts

Roving days
Cosmic chaos
Print deadlines
Cold dinners
Cribbing and crabbing
About sulky copy editors
And tardy pagemakers
Tears over Darfur
Disgust at general state of affairs
Decrying India’s politics
Abusing Fair & Lovely’s farce
Disowning saffron tirades
Debating nationalism
Romance, envies and editorials
Dreamy sighs for SRK & Winslet
Drooling over Kajol and Denzel

Steaming glasses of tea
Cream soaked banana slices
At 3 in the mornings

Shoeing up for the hour long walks
Along the lake city’s lakes
Joining the many moths
Grandpops and Grandmoms with rudrakshas
Beneath trees; singing quietly of their Gods
Little ones playing racquet & hockey
Part of the national games’ nursery
All searching for the illusive
Refuge in the dawning sun
Chiming temple bells mingling
With the muezzin's call for prayers

Of crashing after breakfasts
Of milky teas and sleepy eyes
Waking up to rings of ‘lunch is here’
Of hot rotis and rice and watery dal
Giggling over the new paneer recipe
Made on little stoves of adventure
Warm cocoon of love and wantedness
A sanctuary as one ever wished for

Whither those promises
Lost over pathetic quibbles
I lost a friend; did I lose a well-wisher
Did my closeted ways make an enemy of you?

Hopes of meeting someday still lingers
I imagine your face on wanderers here
Your fussiness; how you indulged me

Did I hurt you?
I can churn out the usual
I am sorry; Didn’t mean it
But another love made me myopic
I was in the throes of first love, you see
I mistook several things; I took offence
How was I to know?
You had your own wishes
I wish I could grant them; I would see you happy
I am yet to see that beautiful smile of yours
I wish you could bless me with that once more

Have you found happiness?
Shelter? Kindness everlasting?

I keep your tokens
I remind myself to smile always
You see, they were days of such happiness
Hah! You made me feel young at 23
Who called 30-year-olds ‘kids’
I, who had survived alone,
And grew old too soon
Damn you old fart; to make a sniveling woman
Of a tough nut – once called the ‘Don’

Phah! I wish for tears now
I squeeze my tear glands; they refuse
I am glad; memories are for smiles
Lessons learnt, heart soothed
I will lean on them on leaner days

I miss you, friend
I mourn this loss deeply
But it’s only mine to mourn

I pray you have built a new life
On new friendships and smiles

(You will be glad to know
I am not alone
My heart has found its home)
But I wish for confessions
And tea-soaked biscuits